OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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