so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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