well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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