you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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