so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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