New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
