so let's talk penis.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
