hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
