So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
