HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
FUCK WHALES
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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