I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
