i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
