Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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