Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Send help, water and tortillas.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
is that a dick in a sweater?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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