this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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