And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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