Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
