How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
