you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize