So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize