all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
