i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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