life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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