Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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