I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
