Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
