I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
