Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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