I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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