once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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