evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
