Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
