i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
