i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
