I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
