I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
