And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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