my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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