Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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