Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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