I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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