We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
only if we run a train.
done.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize