Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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