I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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