She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
