The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
