dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
do nipples grow back?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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