My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
