I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
