on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
