i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
