you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
