This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
