he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
