I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
