he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
