i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
