I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
