Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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