make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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