Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
