Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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