ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
