Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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