i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize