soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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